Learning the art of conversation

Learning the art of conversation

Arun Maira

Thursday, March 20, 2008 (Mumbai)

Interviews: Arun Maira, Chairman, Boston Consulting Group India|

 

 Arun Maira was always interested in the art of conversation. He believes that innovation, change, discovery happen in conversation and conversation itself is a part of it.

 

NDTV: You have spoken a lot about conversation, what draws you to this theme?

Maira: Innovation, change, discovery happen in conversation and conversation itself is a part of it. It always attracted me because I have seen changes in other and in me in spirit, their expression of ideas as they are in conversation with others.

NDTV:You almost making it sound as if conversation are different to talk.

Maira: Sure. While I am in conversation with you, I am indeed in conversation with myself.

NDTV: So what you are saying is there are simultaneously two conversation, one that I am having with you and one with myself.

Maira: Absolutely. We are not aware of the conversation going on inside ourselves. When we become aware of it, we can become aware of the biases we have, someone saying something wrong surprises us.

NDTV: That means activating a very high degree of observer within.

Maira: Yes.

NDTV: There seems to be a deep and universal longing for real conversation. But it appears to have died over the years.

Maira: We are downloading so much shallow information that we should make rule for ourselves. We should devote some time in a day for it. Even it’s become difficult for me sometime.

 NDTV: You have written a lot about the need of public conversation on the big issues. What do you mean when you say public conversation?

Maira: By public, I mean million of people who are concerned about say, the future of the country. Conversation between lots of people does take place. The media enables lots of people to enter into conversation about issues, which matters to many people. We also create setting where thousand of people come together to have conversation on some important issues. We are spending a lot of time and fair amount of money in these meetings. Can we improve the character and the nature of the conversation that takes place in these larger forums? That is where the public conversation can be more effective.

NDTV: But how will you do that?

Maira: To recognize the structure of good conversation, a good conversation should enable diverse voices to express themselves. I will get some learning, provided I am hearing something, which I already don’t know. We would go to many of the seminars because the names of the speakers appeal to us. This results in a division of points of view in the society.

NDTV: What the key areas on which we need to dialogue publicly?

Maira: The first is in terms of vision and outcome; it is more now then ever before. The great desire to have a country in which everyone is included. I will be happy to see that. Second, we have a great desire for respect. People come to poverty and education. We would like to have conversation on water conditions and infrastructure. We come to law and order. When you talk about why the things have not been done, we noticed that in all these areas, collaboration between various people is required.

NDTV: What I am getting from you is first; diversity is essential for a good conversation. Then talk about the outcome that you would like to have happened, the conversation must be inclusive.

Maira:  Little bit of education is also required to what makes a good conversation.

NDTV: What are the rules of a good conversation; whether it’s in a public, work place or private?

Maira: If you keep on doing the same thing and expect a different outcome, you are a bit mad. You will have to listen, that’s a very big rule of conversation. We do know that we don’t listen to other people because something is going on in our heads. Then there is a step to ask people what do you feel; you need to have the conversation about the feeling.

So you create the space in which, people can express things to say things, which are in their minds.

NDTV: You have worked with many organizations in India. What are the kinds of conversation that need to happen in work places?

Maira: One is about people aspiration what they want to do in life and how these aspirations can be built for the organization. Second, in terms of fairness inside their organization and the rules of governance in the organization.

NDTV: With all these desires in offices, where people want to know whether they are getting a fair salary or appraisal, Why they are not talking about these things?

Maira: Yes, this can come only with focused conversation. We want to be a learning organization and responsible citizen of the society.

NDTV: What are the some of the ways by which we can begin to change our private conversation to be more real and meaningful?

Maira: People need to be aware that this conversation is not going anywhere. I remind myself that the relationship must win and not the individual.