THE BEST OF THE WORST

THE WORST HIJACKING

 

We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most
unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rose from
his seat, drew gun and took the stewardess hostage.

 

"Take me to Detroit," he demanded.

 

"We're already going to Detroit," she replied.

 

"Oh ... good," he said, and sat down again.

 

 

 

THE WORST BANK ROBBERY

 

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of
Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had
to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly
left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their
intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them.

 

When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them,
convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over
the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two
tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.

 

 

 

THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE

 

 

 

During the firemen's strike of1978, the British Army had taken over
emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an
elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped
up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their
duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea.
Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat
and killed it!!

 

 

 

LAWYERS Vs INSURANCE

 

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the
century.

 

 

 

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,
then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having
smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having
made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a
claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the
cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."

 

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the
man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued .. and
won!

 

In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer
held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars
were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was
obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal
process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the
lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

 

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

 

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested
on 24 counts of ARSON!!!!

 

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his
insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000
fine.

 

 

 

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal
Lawyers Award Contest.