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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

What is Emotional Maturity

The husband and wife gifted themselves a new car for their first wedding anniversary. They drove downtown, zipped through the beach road, watched a movie in a drive-in theatre, and finally returned home. They didn't have the garage facility. So the car was parked in the street. To their utter shock, when they woke up the next morning, the car was missing. The car was stolen. First car, first wedding anniversary gift, and they had enjoyed the car for just a day. The wife couldn't take it. With misty eyes she sank into the sofa. The husband too was a little jolted, but his love for his wife prevailed over the moment. He hugged her from behind, and said, “The car is lost. You can feel heavy about it. The car is lost. You can take it easy. Either way the car is lost. Then, why not take it easy.” She gave him a cold stare and the moment passed. Two months later the police recovered the car from one of the car-robbery-gangs, and the car was returned to the husband. That very evening, while driving back home from the police station, the husband rammed the car against a truck. This time it was his turn. He couldn't take it. On returning home, with misty eyes he sank into the sofa. Of course jolted, yet her love for him prevailed over the moment. This time, she hugged him from behind, and said, “The car is rammed. You can feel heavy about it. The car is rammed. You can take it easy. Either way the car is rammed. Then, why not take it easy.”

A logical question: When the car is lost or rammed, how can anyone take it easy? But what else can you do? Feel heavy, if you want; take it easy, if you want - either way, after the emotional drama, what has to be done has to be done.The police complaint has to be lodged; the car has to be sent to the workshop; the insurance has to be claimed… what has to be done has to be done.

The child has failed in one of the subjects. The father slaps the child a few times. The mother hits herself on her forehead several times and cries. After all the emotional drama, what? Now, you will have to take extra care on coaching your child on that subject - may be he will be sent for special tuition - what has to be done has to be done. You left the milk a little longer than required on the gas stove. The boiled milk is beginning to overflow from all sides of the vessel. Scream, wail, screech, get tensed, and let your BP to shoot up… after all the emotional drama, now what? You will switch the stove off, offload the milk vessel and clean the kitchen countertop. So, eventually what has to be done will be done.

From a stock market crash, to a key employee's resignation, to the death of a beloved… after the emotional drama, eventually what has to be done will be done.Here we are not discussing about not being emotional, but about avoiding the dramatic emotional reactions. Understandably, you will skip a heartbeat when you lose your vehicle, you will sink into helplessness when the child fails, legitimate tears will roll down at the loss of a beloved. Emotions - yes. Emotional

drama - no!

Emotional Maturity is not about avoiding emotions, but it is about avoiding the emotional drama. Anyways, what has to be done has to be done. Then, why the drama?

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